If you were a traumatized victim of a rape, car accident or house fire, the last thing you would expect to hear is, “It’s over, get over it, you should be happy you’re alive”. It’s more likely your story would elicit sympathy, compassion and offers of help. Then why is that what women who’ve experience a traumatic birth are told those hurtful platitudes? When other victims would be encouraged to seek help and professional therapy.
A trauma is a trauma, doesn’t matter the cause. Birth is no exception. Women can feel victimized, powerless and sometimes, even abused. They are left with emotional and physical scars from being subjected to painful interventions such as vaginal exams, abdominal surgery or episiotomies that weren’t necessary. These traumatic memories may fade but they will haunt some moms for the rest of their lives.
Adding insult to injury are those who tell her she should just be grateful her baby is healthy. Isn’t that a rather stupid thing to say to a mother? Of course she is grateful!! But trauma and love for your baby are not mutual exclusive. You can have both at the same time. Being happy your baby is alive and healthy doesn’t change the fact that you feel broken inside. That your birth was more of a nightmare than the beautiful, loving event you were planning for.
The stories these women tell and the emotional and physical toll their births have taken on them, is heartbreaking. When I hear another mother has been traumatized, it happens more often than you imagine, I am so grateful for HypnoBirthing. There are no guarantees but the majority of our moms have less pain, less intervention and feel more positive about their births, no matter what the outcome. I personally have moms who had
traumatic birth experiences go on to have amazing HypnoBirths.
Their new stories are completely opposite of their previous ones. You see, it is possible to have both a happy mom and a healthy baby. Now that’s something to be grateful for!!